SPRING BREAK!
by Lotus.Under.Thorns
Summary: It's spring break in Konoha and some of the guys have left the village. But what about those left behind? Can they survive a whole two weeks with Lee? Apparently not...
1. Enter: Poor Unfortunate Souls

_Author's Note: _This is a pretty pointless story. It focuses on the guys of Naruto during spring break. _That_ should be fun...Warning: I have no clue where I'm going with this, so the first chapter is pretty slow. It can only get more random from here. Onto the story!

Disclaimer: No...I don't own Naruto...I admit it...you caught me...

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Sasuke snuck into the tall dorm building he shared with other guys staying in Konoha for spring break. He didn't consider himself unlucky that he had to stay back, he just considered himself unfortunate. The point was that Sasuke wasn't the most...er..._sociable_ ninja and _any_ chance he had to get away from the strange companions was willingly taken.

Any way, back to the story. The front door slowly creaked open. Sasuke peered in dripping wet from the huge rain storm and let out a proud sigh.

"SASUKE! Is that YOU!" _Dammit! Lee! I should've known he'd notice I was gone. Gay loser. _

Sasuke looked desperately to his left and right. _Where's he coming from?_ "Sasuke! Sasuke! Sasuke!" Out of nowhere Lee jumped in front of the Uchiha with a wide grin on his face.

_Ugh. Even in his nemaki he resembles a bean. _Sasuke edged away from the advancing green pajama clad ninja. _Why did he have to stay over spring break! _

"Where were you? We were all worried!" "Not really." Gaara walked past the two and headed for the kitchen. "Both of you get upstairs. You're pissing me off." Without another word, the insomniac disappeared into the dark room.

Rock Lee stuck his tongue out in Gaara's direction. Sasuke took the opportunity to escape into his room. "Sasuke? Where'd he go?" Gaara reappeared holding a large plate of...whatever... and headed for the recreational room.

A new idea appeared in the bowl cut kid's twisted mind. "Oh _Gaara!_"

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Sasuke threw off his clothes, heavy with water, and pulled on dark blue boxers and t -shirt. He had the whole room to himself, pretty much everyone had their own room. Except for Choji who shared with Gaara, who never slept anyway and usually kept to himself...usually in front of a tv.

Sasuke pitied himself, wondering why he didn't go anywhere for the vacation. _Anywhere would be better than here. At least Naruto is gone... _The thought of being away from his obnoxious teammate caused Sasuke to smile, but the thought of being Lee's prey still corrupted the back of his mind.

_Everyone Lee thinks is hot is trapped. He'll go after anyone at anytime...he has no shame whatsoever._

Paranoid, he snuck to his door and locked it, just in case.

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Lee went around the house calling out the redhead's name. "Gaara? Where'd you go? Ha...I know!" Taking a sharp turn around the corner, Lee found himself in front of the arcade.

_Hm...He'd expect me to come in this way. Oh well, I must take the chance! If I get to the Pac Man machine without him seeing me, that means he'll accept me! _ Lee's pathetic and unrealistic goal seemed to motivate him.

Crouching low, Lee dodged behind games, rolled under tables and crawled beneath chairs. Gaara heard him coming closer but cared too much about dominating Hitman: Blood Money.

"Hey Gaara...Neat! What is _this_ game?" Lee pointed to the Xbox and then to the screen. Gaara ignored him. "Hm...Oo! Is that you! He's..." Bang! _Another bystander...that makes...12._ "Why'd you do that? He didn't do anything!" Lee covered his mouth and looked as though he'd be sick.

_What's with him? That wasn't even a lot of blood_. Without taking his eyes away from the screen, Gaara finally spoke up. "He was getting on my nerves." "I see." Lee edged closer and closer until he was practically blocking the screen. "Lee _move!_" Numerous rounds of shots rang from the surround sound. "Sorry! Is this better?"

He took two steps from the screen. "I better have more than half my amo left, or you're _dead_." Lee smiled, obviously not understanding how important the game was to Gaara. "Can I play?" He looked as though he'd kill Lee for even suggesting that he would ever be able to match his superior skills.

"Don't you have any more Happy Points to collect in 'Chibi-Robo!'?" Gaara smiled cruelly at Lee's game choices. "Actually, I aquired the toothbrush so I _am_ pretty far in that game. And I've also memorized all the plug locations so Robo's energy is hardly ever low." Apparently, Lee was trying to impress the gamer.

Gaara had completely forgotten about his game and looked as though he'd be sick. _How can someone actually find that game appealing? All it's about is a tin robot running around doing chores for a lazy ass family. _

"So I'm sure that if I play it anymore I'll beat..." "Lee." "_Yes!_" His eyes widened, hopeful that Gaara would confess his non-existent love to him.

"Shut up. Chibi-Robo! is a game created for 5 year olds that are too immature to grasp the concept of highly advanced graphics and twisting plots. It's a game that is meant to poison your mind, causing you to go on an unintentional cleaning frenzy in reality. That innocent child game can only hurt you."

Gaara, pleased with himself, turned back to his own game, but found his lust for 3D blood fulfilled. Instead, he decided to toy with Lee's childish mind a little more. "I have a better idea. Do you want to play a game of _mine?_"

Lee's eyes lit up and he began to blush, "Of course! What is it? Tetris? Ape Escape? SUPER PEACH PRINCESS!" "**_NO!_** What makes you think I'd waste my time with any of those pathetic games? Every one of those are an insult to my highly advanced and aquired skills."

"Oh...Well, what game is it then?" Gaara smirked and dragged his 360 over. He handed Lee a controller and his eyes narrowed dangerously. _This is gonna scare the crap outta this sad excuse for a ninja._

"Prey."

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Sasuke woke up to a loud commotion outside of his door. He poked his head out into the hall, almost getting it taken off by a stampede of teenagers. Quickly stepping aside, he stopped Choji.

"Let go Sasuke! It's _Saturday!_" He struggled to loosen Sasuke's grasp. _Ugh. I forgot…. _"I'm missing the donuts!" Choji's eyes widened as a few guys headed back to their rooms. Each dorm member held a large plate of breakfast foods.

"Right." Sasuke let go of Choji who bolted to the dining area. It had completely slipped his mind. Every Saturday the guys ordered huge amounts of food so no one would have to cook. (Not like anyone ever does anyway.) Sasuke trudged down the hall to see what was left.

When he got in (after dodging Choji who ran full speed to his room), Sasuke took one look at the unappetizing heap of food. Looking across the table at Gaara who prodded a suspicious piece of meat, Sasuke kept his eyes low.

A sudden cry tore through the winding halls. _Sounds like a girl. Hm. Must be Lee. _ Even more chilling than the scream was Gaara's slight laughter of amusement. _I'm not even gonna ask_.

"What was that?" A few guys cautiously made their way towards the cry. "Hey it's Lee!" "Hahaha! What's he doing playing _this!_" Sasuke didn't bother moving, afterall, if Lee saw him he'd probably be stalked for the rest of the day.

"He got what he deserves... Should never have followed me." Sasuke shook his head as Gaara walked past him. He wasn't about to defend Lee.

More commotion from the halls. "Hey Naruto!" "What's he doing back? Couldn't Kiba or Shikamaru return instead?" Sasuke groaned. _There's no way he came back so soon. It's only the third day off! _

"Hey Sasuke...miss me?"

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	2. Creeps That Just Won't Leave

_Author's Note: _Here's chapter two! Sorry about the wait...I was having computer problems. I noticed in the mean time, that this isn't really about spring break. And it doesn't focus on Sasuke like I thought it would. Hm. Sorry about that, but I can't wait to post the next chapter. Hahaha... It's awkward. Onto Chapter Two!

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Naruto's unmistakably loud voice traveled to Sasuke's ears from the doorway. He winced, knowing what was coming next.

"Some of the guys agreed on letting me stay with you! Can I?" No answer.

"Thanks! Aww! Breakfast? I missed it, didn't I?" He bounded into the large room and helped himself to whatever was left over from five minutes ago.

"You said you were staying longer. Why are you here?" Sauske's cold eyes bore down on Naruto, who didn't seem to notice the death stare. He shrugged. "It got boring..." "You were only gone for _three_ days!" Sasuke was beginning to lose his temper.

"I know. But I thought you'd be missing me. And I was right! It's boring without me here! Aren't you glad I'm back now! Huh? Huh? Aren't you? Huh?" Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he tried to ignore his teammate.

"Huh Sasuke? Huh? Hmmmm? Sasuke?"

I can't let him stay in my room! He's so annoying! "Huh, huh? Huuuhhhh?" I'll completely lose it if I have to endure his loud mouth every minute of the day!

"Sasuke, Hellloooo? Are you listening? I said didn't you miss me? Huh? Did ya did ya did ya?"

_Wonder who I can dump him on for the remainder of the break..._ "Huh? Hey! Sasuke!"

_C'mon think! There has to be someone foolish enough to dorm with him! _

"Hey Uchiha! Didn't you? Hmm?"

"ACK! I can't take you! NO I didn't miss you! No one did! We were all glad you were gone! You're insanely ANNOYING!"

Sasuke ran from the dining area at full speed. _The only way I'll survive is to isolate myself from him... Everyone if I have to!_

"Wow. He _has_ lost it. In a way I pity him... My absence sure has turned this building into a looney bin." Naruto thought outloud to no one in particular. Grabbing his bags he followed Sasuke to his room.

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"Lee! Hey Lee! Get off! We need to use the Xbox 360!" A few guys started to kick the shivering ninja. He was curled up in the fetal position and rocked back and forth, muttering nonsense to himself.

"What's with _him?_" Becoming extremely impatient, they bent down and lifted Lee off of the game consul and pried the controller from his hands. Next they dragged him away to the other side of the arcade..._FAR_ away from the rest of the group.

His wide eyes stared at the wall where one or two posters hung.

A shadow crept up and slid over Lee's immobile body. "How was it?" "No...no...no more aliens...no more...no...more..."

Gaara's psychotic eyes stared down at the helpless feeble heap. "Pull yourself together. You know how sorry you look? Pitiful. Disgraceful. _Weak._ It was just a game." "A...a game?" Gaara rolled his eyes.

Lee picked himself up and gave an unsure laugh. "Haha. Right. A _game_..." He gave Gaara an admiring look. "Thank you Gaara! You're so brave!"

He crawled over and latched himself onto one of Gaara's legs. "Hey! What the..._Get off me_." Gaara thrashed out and threw Lee off.

Without a backwards glance, he stormed out of the room. Apparently Gaara was disappointed that Lee wasn't ruined for life.

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"Sasuke? Hey! Open up! Is it always this hard to get in? You should really have the screen checked out..." Sasuke was holding the screen to his dorm room closed shut. Naruto persistently knocked and ripped at the wood frame.

_I can't keep this up all night. There has to be...Ha! There _is_ someone... But would he be dense enough to stay in his room? _

BANG

_I have no other option. _Sasuke quickly pulled open the door, catching Naruto off guard. "Whoa!" He fell in front of Sasuke's feet.

"Ha! I got it open afterall!" Trying to remain pleasant, Sasuke managed a tight grin. "Hey Naruto, I've got a better idea about where you should stay."

"Really?"

He nodded. There was no turning back now. "You and I always hang around each other so why don't you stay with someone else?" Naruto's water blue eyes looked troubled. "What do you mean?"

"I think that you should room with someone else. You may learn a new trick or two." Sasuke was hopeful for a moment. Naruto looked as though he was actually considering the idea. "Yeah. But I already have my own tricks. Hahaha..."

_Oh great. He's going back..._ "But I know for a fact that Lee missed you. He'd be really disappointed if you stayed _here_." "_Right_..." Sasuke nodded. "He cried every night you were away. Looked pretty pathetic."

"Hmm... Ya. He's weird like that. I'd rather stay with you Sasuke. Somethin' about Lee...I dunno. Freaks me out..." _Damn! He actually tuned into Lee's odd ways!_

"Really? No...Not _Lee_. He just gets excited, that's all." _Hmph. I wish that was true. _There was silence between the two.

"Wellllll...I guess." Naruto picked up his numerous luggage and headed down the hall towards the room Sasuke pointed at.

"Hey! This is pretty far away! What you trying to say Sasuke? That you don't want me around? Hahahaha...just jokin'!"

_Haha. That was close. Well, he's not my problem anymore_.

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Rock Lee went around the dormitory looking for the runaway ninja from Suna.

"Gaara wait for _me!_" A few paces from Lee, Gaara hid behind a tall column. The vegetable colored clothing was unmistakeable from where he was standing. As soon as Lee passed, Gaara turned and slowly walked the other way.

Maybe too slow. Lee turned and saw his crush.

"There you are Gaara! I've been looking for you! Come back to my dorm...I've got something I want to _show_ you." Shocked that Lee was quick enough to notice, Gaara disappeared in a rush of sand.

"Awww..." Still determined, he looked all around for any sign of the redhead. "Hehe. I'll get you next time Gaara!" And he ran off, thinking the whole cat and mouse chase was a form of flirting.

_Damn it. I can't take him anymore. He's such a pain in the ass. I have to ensure that there won't _be_ a next time..._

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_Author's Note: _What do you think so far? I know it's weird. And it won't be getting any saner!


	3. Picture Perfect

_Author's Note:_ Haha! My favorite chapter! Well, here you go... I hope you like it just as much as I do. This is where the whole story takes a turn for the worst. Poor, poor Gaara. : ( What are we waiting for? Onto the chapter!

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Lee entered his dorm room, worn out from chasing after Gaara all day. Though little did he know that he was not alone.

As soon as he entered, there was no mistaking it. Naruto was kneeling down on the side of Lee's bed... next to...

_My Shrines! _Lee raced over and pulled Naruto up by the back of his shirt. "What are you doing!" Naruto shook what appeared to be dolls of a few other guys menacingly.

"Me? What are you doing with _these?_" Snatching them away with a gasp, Lee tossed Naruto aside and began to kiss and check over each puppet.

"My poor, poor figures! Did he hurt you?" "Figures? Hmph. They looked like dolls to me. By the way, can I have this one? It reminds me of...well...me!" An orange dressed doll flopped backwards in Naruto's fist.

"NO! Give me that!" Lee raced over and stole the "figure." Naruto watched dumbfounded as he then ran back behind his bed and neatly arranged them. The table the three figures were on was crowded with many pictures of the matching boys.

"You're a freak, you know that right?" Red, Lee turned around slowly. "And you are in my personal space...What are you doing here?"

Dumping out his suitcase on the bed next to Lee's, Naruto rolled his eyes. "Sasuke wouldn't let me stay with him, so he told me to dorm with you." "Sasuke recommended _me?_"

_What's with this guy? He knows he's a guy, right? _"Um. Sure." Lee clapped his hands foolishly and pranced around the room. "He likes me! Oh my kami! I knew it!"

"What's wrong with you? Did you forget to take a prescription or something? Must be a pretty strong one..." Putting his hands on his hips, Lee pouted. "No. I do not require a medication of any sort."

"That's good." Naruto tried to calm the homo down, concerned of what he was capable of in such a mental state.

"Yes. I suppose it is. Are you going to get washed?" Naruto turned slightly. "Yeah. Why?" "Oh no reason..." Lee hopped down to the shrines again and grabbed a Poloroid camera. "What's that for?" The only reply he recieved was a sharp wink. "No reason..."

Before Naruto could interoggate him further, he bounded out of the room and headed towards the bathroom. _Okay. I guess I'll just use the one on the other side of the building._

Grabbing his clothes before his new roommate returned, Naruto dashed out of the room.

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On the other side of the building 

Gaara walked down the halls with his own roommate's shampoo and body scrub that had been "mysteriously" missing for the past month or so.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Naruto flew past him and into the bathroom. Gaara carefully walked up to the door and heard it lock. _Calm down... Just explain to him that he's messing up my whole schedule and possibly the whole rest of the week._

"Naruto..." "What do you want?" Gaara's eyes narrowed at the disrespectful answer. "You just returned, so I wouldn't expect you to know this but... From 7:05 to 7:36 _this_ room belongs to _me_." "So what?" Gaara heard Naruto turn on the water. If he was naked already, he _did not_ want to break in.

"Naruto. Get out. _Now_." "No! I'm having a little roommate trouble in my own neck of the woods so I have no choice." Now Gaara's patience had run out entirely.

"I don't give a shit about your personal life Naruto! Get out of my bathroom!"

"NO! Now go away before I have to come out!" _Wait a minute, I don't want to come out..._

"Nevermind! Go before I take control of this bathroom permanently! What was it? 7:05 to 7:37?"

"36." Gaara hissed and turned stubbornly, heading to the other bathroom.

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_Hehehehe. All set! Ooo! I hear someone... He'll never see this coming_. Lee bent down and remained well hidden as Gaara entered. "Damn blonde. Such a pain."

_Gaara! Oh geeze! What luck!_ Lee watched as Gaara carefully peeled off his clothes and set them aside. The pervert's eyes widened as Gaara stepped inside the shower.

He let Gaara get completely wet before he picked up his camera. (Over the months, Lee found that this made it harder for the unknowing victim to pursue. Besides, he liked the wet look.)

_Okay! Time to get some new photos for my wall..._ Lee nodded in agreement with...himself and moved to the curtain.

He stuck the piece of plastic between the curtain and wall and aimed it at Gaara.

"_What the_..." Before he could grasp what was about to happen, the camera flashed 1...2...3...4 times.

"CAMERA!"

"Uh oh! Time to go!" With a low final shot, Lee headed for the door.

"LEE!" Wiping his eyes, Gaara stumbled out of the shower and grabbed his towel. Swiftly wrapping it around his waist, Gaara followed.

Laughing happily (it was always one of Lee's dreams to get chased by a naked guy) he ran down the twisting halls, hoping to corner Gaara inside his dorm room.

"I'm gonna KILL you!" Camera clicks and angered screams filled the floor. A few guys stuck their heads out of their rooms to see what was going on. And the strangest sight met their eyes...

Lee was running backwards and taking picture after picture of Gaara. Gaara was pursuing (and catching up) in just a bath towel and dripped with suds.

"Hey! I know that scent! _You_ stole my soap!" Choji called after the ninja.

"Ahahahaha!" Lee continued running. _Woo hoo! I'm so proud that I went for the 65 motion film reel instead of my normal 50! _

"Get back here you jerk!" Gaara reached out and grabbed Lee's ankle, bringing him down in the middle of the hall. The onlookers ran over to watch Gaara beat the crap out off Lee who was still flashing the camera.

"YOU GAY RETARD!" The two rolled around on the rug as the others yelled out "encouraging" words and placed bets on them.

"200 yen that Gaara's next punch'll make Lee bleed!" "I'll take that! Double that for his towel falls off next roll!" "Ha! You're on!"

Pictures flew everywhere and flashes blinded. "ACK! GET OFF!" Lee had grabbed onto Gaara with his legs and stuck the camera in his face.

"Wait Gaara! I just want one good nude shot!" "KAMI _NO!_" "Owwww!" Gaara's fist pummeled into Lee's stomach and he struggled to get up.

Adjusting his towel, Gaara prepared to give Lee an internal bleeding sized beating. Prepared, until he was picked up by...

Master Gai.

His swift entrance surprised all the bystanders who quickly fled the scene, leaving Gaara alone with two chaotic lunatics. He froze. Anger and fear tangled inside him.

_Don't touch me...let me _go. "What's going on here you two?" Lee looked up at his favorite teacher with sad eyes, blood flowed from a large gash above his cheek bone. Neither one said anything.

"I won't have bullying Gaara. You know that..." Gaara's eyes widened as Gai addressed him instead of Lee.

_Grrr. I hate brown nosers. It just had to be Gai...Didn't it? Of course he'll side with Lee_. _He won't even confiscate that piece of crap._ He glared down at the camera still resting in the ninja's hand.

"Now Gaara...I suggest you come with me. Lee, you too." _Oh shit no... Not both of them. What does he want now? He better not try to rape me. _Fidgeting in Gai's grasp, Gaara pulled up his towel. This just caused the older jonin's hands to move lower down his waist.

"Can I at least finish my shower?" Gaara snarled and stopped moving abruptly after realizing there was no escape. Gai thought for a while and Lee shook his head "no" violently. "Wellll...I don't think I can trust you to do that. You may attack Lee again..."

"In the _nu_de? You think I like to run around in just my skin? I'm _not_ a nudist." Gai shrugged. "I may have to find someone to supervise you." Lee's expression changed dramatically and waved his hand in the air.

This is not happening. It's an open invitation for gays! 

"Here Lee. Take Gaara to the bathroom and make sure he gets cleaned up..." Gai dropped Gaara and spanked him before sending the two away. Gaara scrambled up and ran towards the bathroom.

"I'll be watching you Gaara!" Gai smiled and winked at the runaway.

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Gaara shivered as Gai's words played over and over in his mind.

"So Gaara, how about that picture? Just one..._Please?_" He remained silent and Lee continued nagging him.

Stopping in front of the bathroom door, Gaara turned and gave him a suspicious smile. "Sure thing Lee."

"What? _Really!_" Smiling wider, Gaara nodded. _Asshole. He'll believe anything..._

Lee moved forward and Gaara's hands moved down to the towel. "I can't believe you're actually letting me take one!"

_And yet, you do. _"Hey, I have a better idea. Why don't we go into the bathroom."

It was like a dream come true for Lee. He skipped into the room and Gaara followed after looking up and down the hall. _No witnesses. Good._

"Okay. How about you stand right there, Lee..." "Right here?" "Yeah. There. Ready?" He nodded in anticipation. Again Gaara reached down. But instead of pulling off the towel, he pulled the bath mat from beneath Lee's feet.

The bowl cut kid smashed his head on the side of the tub. Not letting him have a chance to get up, Gaara jumped on top off Lee and grabbed the camera. Pictures spilled out left and right.

After smacking the camera on top of Lee's head again and again and again, Gaara brought it down on the porcelain tiles. Lee didn't seem to notice, afterall, that tends to happen when you get a concussion.

"_Ha!_ Here you go Lee. I hope you got some good shots..." He picked up the limp body and tossed it out of the room, along with the broken camera pieces.

_Finally... Now where was I? _ Gaara locked the door and hopped back into the shower.

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	4. The Confrontation If U Can Call It That

_Author's Note: _This is a pretty long chapter, sorry ; ) What happened to the 65 pictures taken the previous night? And isn't it about time Sasuke was added in again? Hehehe... the chapter will reveal all! Onto the next one!

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Again, Sasuke was woken up by loud pounding outside his door. "You've got to be kidding me..." He grumbled and got to his feet. Opening the door, he was startled by Naruto's face.

"MORNING SASUKE!" Sasuke jumped back. "What are you _doing?_" "Hehehe. Nothing really. Look what I found!" Sasuke caught a heavy envelope. He opened it up and took out numerous photos of...

"Gaara?" "Hahahaha! Ya I know! I found them all over the hallway this morning!" Sasuke stuck his head out. "So you're taping them to the walls?" "Sure, why not! He was a real jerk last night...So it's just my way of getting revenge. Hahahaha!"

"Who took all these? They're really bad... Whoa! Did not need to see this one." "Let me see! Let me see!" Naruto grabbed the picture. "HAHA! I know exactly where to put this one!"

Before Sasuke could protest (though I doubt he would), Naruto ran down the hall and to the main staircase.

"Whatever." Sasuke went back in and got dressed, only to reappear a second later and head down to the dining room.

It was unnerving to go down the halls. Every six feet there was a nearly nude picture of Gaara.

_How long will it take him to find out who did this?_ _Hey. It's Lee. What's he doing over here? And why's he holding a smashed up camera. Hmph. Looks like Gaara already got to the photographer. _

Without a backward glance at the immobile figure, Sasuke continued down the "Gallery of Gaara."

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It was apparent that everyone had noticed Naruto's early morning trickery. Naruto stood in the middle of a large circle, beaming proudly at all the attention he was receiving.

"Hey Choji. Where's Gaara?" Sasuke stood next to the moody ninja. "HMPH! He's barricaded himself in my room that's where he is! He's been in there all morning with all his gaming junk! I have no clue how to get him out." Sasuke smirked, wishing he could do the same.

"So he _doesn't_ know about all this I take it?" Choji frowned. "Ya. He knows. _Everyone_ knows. That's what got him into his state of pity! He saw this nude picture posted on the screen and well... Got mad. Ooo! Pop tarts!" Choji left Sasuke and ran to the kitchen.

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Down the hall, Lee was slowly regaining consciousness. "Wha...Wha happened? Oof! My head... Gaara! Where'd he go!" He staggered up and looked around.

"What are these? My...MY PICTURES! Oh no! They're everywhere! Everyone had the same idea! They're supposed to be just mine!" Lee ran around snatching pictures off the wall, shouting out threats to the person who was responsible for this.

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Naruto headed to his dorm room, still beaming when he ran into his roommate. "Gotta get them! Gotta get all 65 gorgeous pictures!"

"Hey! What do you think you're doing with those! Put 'em back!" Lee looked up, his eyes blazed with anger. "NO! They're mine! All mine! I bought the film and took every flesh exposing picture, so I get to do what I want with them!"

Naruto frowned, "Well I found them! You didn't exactly claim them, so they're mine now! Finders keepers...DUH!" He pointed at himself.

"NEVER!" Lee raced down the halls, ripping pictures off the wall. Naruto followed.

"STOP IT! HEY! CUT IT OUT!" "Nononononono! They're MINE! All MINE!" The chase continued for half the floor...

Until Lee saw it.

"Holy moly! I _must_ have it..." "No Lee! WAIT! Stop! Not that one! That's the key to my revenge!"

Beginning to drool, Lee slowly approached the photo. "How did I get this lucky! It's a FULL body shot..." "NO LEE!" Before his outstretched hand could grab the picture, he was tackled to the ground.

"Stop! What's...your..._PROBLEM!_" "I HAVE to have it!" Lee bit viscously into Naruto's hand. "ARGH!" He fell off Lee and nursed the bite mark.

"Ahahaha! I have it now! Come here you _hot_ thing!" Lee ran up to the door but before he could get a good hold on it, the screen flew open. Gaara's wild stare fell on the two picture crazed guys.

"Oh! It's you!" "What do you two want?" He snapped. Naruto stood and began to back away.

"Nothing Gaara. Hehe! I was just leaving... It's Lee!" Naruto pointed accusingly at the ninja who was prying the nude photo off the door.

"He's the one who tried to take the picture!" "I won't abuse it Gaara! I swear! I'll...I'll laminate it and frame it...and sleep next to it every night! I promise!" He stepped out and snatched the pile of pictures away from Lee as well as the one that had been hanging on his door.

"Thanks. Here Lee, you can have this one. I took it last night." Gaara pulled a picture from his pocket and tossed it onto the floor. Then the screen slammed shut again.

"What's it of?" Naruto walked to the photograph Lee was now holding. Lee was covered in blood and was unconscious. Gaara knelt next to him and was holding him by the neck with a wide grin on his face.

"Haha! So that's how you got all beat up!" Lee lost it. "GAARA! I NEED THAT PICTURE! PLEASSSEEE!" Naruto backed away from him. _Wow. He's crazy_.

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_Later that evening_

Sasuke walked past Gaara's door on the way from the bathroom. There was no way he was taking a chance using his own after what Lee had pulled last night. Choji was trying to bribe Gaara with food like a dog.

"C'mon Gaara! Let me in...I have chicken!" _He's pitiful. This whole house is pitiful._

"HEY SASUKE! Behind you!" He turned and saw Naruto running after him in his orange boxers. "What do you want?"

"Aw. Nothing. Hey! Do you want to watch a movie in my dorm room? I don't think Lee's there." "No." "What? Why 'no'?" "Because I hate you."

Sasuke left Naruto standing alone in the halls and went to his own room.

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Throwing himself onto his bed, Sasuke pulled a light blanket over his head and began to doze off.

A few moments later, Sasuke was brought back by a light sliding noise_. Someone's in here. Great._

"Hiya Sasuke!"

Naruto ripped the cover down and smiled from the foot of his bed. "_Ugh_. You again?" "Hahaha! Of course! Who else?"

"Someone less annoying..." Sasuke grabbed the cover from Naruto's hand and flipped onto his side.

"Nope! C'mon Sasuke! Watch this with me! Please!" "Will it make you go away? Permanently?"

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He was quickly regretting hanging out with Naruto as the movie played on and on.

Suddenly, the door opened and there appeared Lee.

"Sasuke! What are you doing here!" Sasuke's dark eyes peered at him from a corner. _I knew this would happen_. "Hey Lee. I invited him over. Is that okay?"

He moved from the doorway, over to Sasuke. "Oh yes! It's..._fine_..." Lee slid beside Sasuke who inched away. "I gotta go to the john. Be right back!" Naruto headed to the half bath around the corner, cruelly leaving Lee and Sasuke alone.

"_Finally!_" Racing to the screen, Lee secured it with some type of invention he undoubtedly created in a case like this. "Alone at _last,_ Uchiha." Sasuke got up and tried to make a run for it, but Lee tackled him...Onto his bed.

"Get off me!" "Uhuh. No way, Sasuke! Haha! That rhymed!" "Good for you...Hey!" Lee wrapped bed covers around Sasuke's body and quickly tied them in a tight knot. _I can't move!_ _I'm screwed!_

"Oh Sasuke! _Sasuke!_" He gagged at the way Rock Lee whispered his name. "Don't touch me!" "Too late...Wow you're a hottie, aren't you?" Sasuke clamped his legs shut, but Lee was determined.

"Don't worry Sasuke..." Lee bent closer to Sasuke's ear, "_I'll be gentle_." _NOOO!_ Before he could scream out loud, Lee's hands pulled at his waistband. Sasuke thrashed out, but this only helped Lee strip him down faster.

A loud knock came from the door. "_HELLO!_ What's all this! Open up! Don't tell me this door gets stuck, too!"

With extra force, Naruto threw himself inside. "Ha! Again, I succeed! No door can stand... What the...? What are you doing!"

Lee and Sasuke were rolling on the bed in just their underwear, giving Naruto a huge wrong impression.

"Oh KAMI! I shoulda known! ACK! You used me to get close to Lee, didn't you Sasuke! Well fine then...I'll just let you have your...fun!" "NO NARUTO! WAIT!" But he had disappeared.

"P_hew. _It's okay Sasuke. We're alone now." Lee stroked the dark hair and bent down to kiss him. Again, Sasuke threw himself around, trying to avoid Lee at all costs. "Wow...I've never noticed your hair was so beautiful...It turns me on...I want you Sasuke! Kiss me!"

"No way!"

"Stop moving! I'm not going to hurt you! I just want something of yours..." Knowing exactly what that "something" was, Sasuke started to shout at the top of his lungs.

"KAMI HELP! Get off you Gaylord! Don't you dare..." "Oh but I do. I'm a very daring person." "NO!" "_Sasuke!_" Lee pulled at Sasuke's black boxers.

"Hey..." Both looked up at the figure standing in the doorway. Gaara looked directly at Lee, holding a plate of what looked like chicken.

"What're you two doing?" He took a long stride into the room. "You were not invited! You didn't even knock!" "Shut up Lee. I'm just here to..." Gaara sat down on a purple and pink butterfly chair and picked meat from between his teeth, "Visit."

"Well, I never gave you an invitation!" Sasuke began to sweat. _Why's he here? And if Lee doesn't move his hand... _

Gaara shrugged and shoved more food into his mouth.

"I'm busy! Unless of course...You'd like to join us?" Lee looked hopeful. Gaara laughed. "Hahaha! _Right._ What the heck is this?" He peered at the screen. "Napoleon Dynamite? Hm. No wonder you got...side tracked."

Sasuke growled but deep down he was thankful for the diversion. "Yes well, it's Naruto's video! I wanted to watch The Little Mermaid II, but no!" Pretending to look interested, Gaara leaned forward.

"I see. What's that about, Lee?" As Lee began to explain all the characters and his favorite songs in the Disney movie, Sasuke could have sworn he saw Gaara nod towards the open door.

_No time to waste...I've just got to loosen his grip... Ow! Damn he's holding on tight... _

Gaara noticed Sasuke trying to lift Lee's arm. _Why do I even bother helping him? With my luck I'll wind up where I was last night. Sigh. Whatever... He'd better return the favor_.

He got up from the girlish chair (embroidered with the words "Fashion Diva" ), and moved to Lee.

"Hey Lee." "Yes Gaara?" "I think you'd better find a new play toy..." "What?" He lifted Lee's body off of Sasuke's chest.

"Like you my redhead wonderment?" As soon as Sasuke was free, Gaara tossed Lee aside. "Uh. No." Confused, Lee watched his two loves leave swiftly.

"WHY ME! Oh _WHY?_ I have nothing to remember their presence by... Oo! What are these?"

He picked up Sasuke's shirt and Gaara's fork from the ground. "Oh my goodness! This covered Sasuke's soft skin...And this was grazed by Gaara's lips! My luck has returned to me!" Running the items over to his conjoined shrines, Lee spent the remainder of the evening drooling over it.

00000

"I didn't need your help, Gaara. I would have been just fine alone." Gaara smirked and walked alongside Sasuke. "I noticed. Which is why Lee was straddling you."

"Hmph! I _don't_ need your help. What do you want?" "Nothing. I was just lending a hand," Gaara's smirk suggested otherwise. "You're not capable of helping for no reason. I don't owe you anything."

He shrugged and headed to his room. "Fine. But I seriously doubt that. A favor that size for a reason like _that_ has potential blackmail behind it. Doesn't it? Believe me, you'd rather owe me one than be shamed further. Hm. Enjoy the rest of your night."

Sasuke shot Gaara with a glare as he turned the corner. _I don't owe him anything. Why would Gaara want me to help him? He can handle himself…. Then again, that freak is capable of wrecking my whole image. That is if Naruto hasn't already._

He slammed his screen shut and fell asleep with the word "blackmail" revolving around his mind.

00000

_Author's Note:_ Congrats if you made it this far! I'm flattered...really! I told you it would be insane...


	5. The Project

_Author's Note:_ Here's where the story kinda gets a point to it. This may _seem_ slow at first, but hang in there! To the chapter!

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The next morning Sasuke slept late. _At least one good thing came from last night. Now that Naruto thinks I'm gay, he hasn't bothered me yet._ He slowly dragged his feet over to the mirror hanging on his closet door.

Seeing his perfect hair brought a self-centered smile to his face. _Ha. No morning hair. I doubt I have to comb it…but I will anyway. I do have the best hair out of all the others, don't I?_

Agreeing with himself, Sasuke opened the closet and took out his regular Chino shorts and Happi jacket. As he pulled on the clothes, he caught a glimpse of the clock.

_10:43! Damn I slept late…. Those human trashcans probably ate everything by now_.

He ran from the room and down to the dining area, only to find it deserted. _Where is everyone?_ He slowed down and moved to the living room. This time he walked into the middle of a house meeting.

"Hmph. Looks like Sleeping Beauty finally decided to join us…." The guys snickered at Baki's comment. "Take a seat."

Glaring at the older jonin, Sasuke obeyed and helped himself to a seat in a far corner.

"Leave him be, Baki. I'll take it from here." Kakashi cleared his throat and boredly looked at him. Baki stepped back with a sneer.

"Okay then. We've all decided that since you have a whole week left before normal classes resume, you should do something productive." A few moans came from the crowd of students.

Kakashi threw up his hands innocently. "Hey, all you do is sit around all day. I know for a fact that you don't have anything better to do." A hand shot up, "This isn't going to be _educational, _is it?"

"Somewhat. Why wouldn't it be?" More moaning. "Quiet down…"

"But the people that left don't have to do this! Why should we!" "Yeah! It's not fair…"

Baki stepped forward, hoping to yell at someone. "Neither is life. Besides, all of you here were too antisocial to leave. Or maybe you're too social. Hm. I'm not sure. But the point is none of you here were smart enough to set up a trip over the vacation!"

"Alright Baki. That's enough." Kakashi sighed and continued with the lecture. "It'll be an enjoyable experience for the most part…."

"For the 'most part'!" "Yes. If I said it would be fun all the way through…I'd be lying. And I don't want to lie to all of you."

"_Only most_…" Naruto whispered to the boy sitting next to him.

"As you may have noticed, the building is in need of some _repairs._ And you're all lucky enough to lead the project of redesigning the following rooms…." He cleared his throat and Asuma started to read from a list.

"'Kay. Here we go. The kitchen. We need help setting in new appliances and tiles….maybe wallpapering….yadda yadda yadda. Second, the dining area. This needs new carpeting, probably new lighting. The basics. The rec room. We're not investing in new games…."

He smiled at the disappointed faces.

"But it needs new panels for the walls. And the bar has to be refabricated. Oh and lastly, ha. This should be fun. The half bathroom at the end of the hall."

"There you have it. Alright! You can sign up here," Kakashi waved a clipboard. "For the room you want to work on. About ten people per room. And remember, this is a _student_ project. Don't expect us to help with anything more than approving your room layouts."

"But what about the appliances? We have no clue how to put in a sink…or whatever!"

Kakashi squinted happily. "That's what makes it an….. adventure! Now sign up!"

Of course Sasuke was one of the last to sign up.

_If I'm lucky, I won't have to do much. They'll probably never notice I'm gone. Ha. I see Gaara jumped at the rec room. It figures. What's Naruto doing? Ugh. Dining room? Check that off my list. How about Lee? Bathroom. Nope. What's left? Kitchen or Rec? Kitchen._

"How are we going to finish in just one week?"

Baki's lips curled. "You will. You all start tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow!" "Yes Naruto, bright and early."

Sasuke looked around at all the teachers. _They're just happy because they don't have to do anything. I can't say I'm surprised though._

00000

When they were all dismissed the guys lingered outside the doors, discussing the future jobs and complaining about what they were expected to do.

"Settle down and split into groups by the room you chose. Bathroom in the far left corner; Rec room in the far right; Kitchen and Dining."

The house residents grudgingly moved from their spots.

"Now, I want you to brainstorm inside your groups. But before that, chose a captain that will lead the rest during the entire project. You have a little less than all day to come up with floor plans…. And you _have_ to clear them with one of us before you go any further. You can start now."

00000 Bathroom

"Good. At least we have the floorplan figured out. That didn't take too long. Hopefully we'll be able to get the room started soon." The group working on the bathroom was ahead of the others, they had already approved the layout with one of the senseis. But their problems were soon to come.

Lee stood, "Does that mean we can move onto decorating!" "Uh...I guess..." Without another word, he ran to the front of the group and pulled a large posterboard out of nowhere.

"This is just something I came up with last second..." The board was decorated with tiles and fabric samples.

"Here are some curtain samples and tiles that would compliment them. Though I _have_ been having some trouble with the color scheme. It's between either a nice pastel color set or a bold, bright, electric collection..."

They looked at one another as if Lee was speaking another language.

00000 Rec Room

"I call leader!" A nieve ninja shouted out from the group. The other eight boys gave nervous looks to Gaara who smirked. "Really." The opposing boy shot him a defiant look. "Yes! I called it!" Gaara sighed and stood up.

"So, since the room's main repairs include carpeting and new paneling..." "HEY! _I'm_ the leader!" Gaara shot him a death glare.

"Apparently you lack the leadership. You can't _'call' _being the leader. Especially being in charge of a group that conists of humans capable of thinking for themselves, unlike incompetent mindless zombies that you couldn't lead even if it depended on your life." Everyone turned their attention to the boy, wondering how he would countermove.

Gaara didn't bother being merciful. "Besides, who holds the highest recorded time of residing in that room?" The guys nodded. "_Who?_" Gaara looked directly at the opponent across him.

"You." He muttered.

"And how long?"

No answer. Gaara cleared his throat. "I'm waiting."

"34 hours... 45 minutes... 57 seconds." The redhead smiled. As you can imagine, he won the arguement.

"There you have it, the numbers speak for themselves. All of you listen to me now. Got a problem with that?" No one spoke up. "Hn. I thought not. As I was saying, most of the repairs won't require much hard labor..."

00000 Kitchen

Sasuke sat boredly as two group members argued over who would lead. He couldn't help but think that he would be the best candidate, but he didn't want to put forth much of an effort so he remained silent.

This is pointless. Can't the teachers hire someone? They must be desperate to get us out of their way. No doubt they've realized how dangerous this little 'project' is going to get. Everyone's too immature to take it seriously.

The two arguing boys had gotten into a fist fight and Kakashi had come over.

Sasuke didn't pay any attention to his lecture, until he heard his name.

"Sasuke, you're in charge of this group now. And there's no other option."

_Shit. I guess that means I have to be an active participant._ He looked over at the others. Choji shrugged when Sasuke looked over at him. He was one of the only ones. The two boys that had hoped for the position glared sullenly.

"Hmph. Let's get this over with..."

00000 Dining Area

"No Naruto! No one wants _you_ to lead!" Naruto had become the self-proclaimed dictator of the team in charge of the dining room.

"Too bad! I'm the best man for the job and so you all have to listen and obey! And I'll take on anyone that has a problem with that..."

The nine guys smiled and in an instant, all jumped ontop of the blonde.

000

A few moments (and punches, bites and scratches) later...

"Fine! Get off me already!" The guys slowly backed off and elected another to lead the group, a tall, dark haired, and insignificant to this story, boy.

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_Author's Note:_ Was it slow? I hope not... I had to do a lot of research for the next few chapters after this one. I don't have much experience around house renovation so forgive me if I get something wrong! ; )


	6. Whistle While U Work

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_This isn't happening... Not again... _Sasuke pulled a pillow over his head as a loud voice traveled down the hallway.

"C'mon ladies! Get up! We're starting construction early! Last person in their assigned room has to clean up the trash in all four for the entire week!"

He moaned and got up. _Why did I have to be leader? And why did they give a megaphone to Baki? _

00000

Sasuke stepped out into the hall and saw Naruto, who looked as freaked out as he did the time he interrupted Lee's diabolical move on Sasuke. It was obvious Naruto was avoiding Sasuke by the way he ran to the other side of the hall and accidentally slammed into the wall.

He still hasn't gotten over that apparently. Jerk. He claims to know me better than that. Ha. Right.

A rush of guys trampled through the halls. Are they really that scared of Baki? Please... Everyone's lost it...

But a few seconds later, Sasuke was running as well after he saw the real culprit. Lee was on the prowl.

00000 Kitchen

"Mornin' Sasuke!" Choji sat on a counter eating food out of cardboard boxes. Apparently someone had packed all the food out of the fridge and cabinets. Starting this early? I hoped to at least procrastinate a little longer. Guess I don't have a choice.

"Where shall we start?" Choji pointed to a large pile of tools. Sasuke looked around the kitchen. "We have to disassemble the appliances first. Everyone, get to work."

The guys slowly grabbed the tools. It was easy to see that everyone hadn't gotten much sleep the previous night. My works done for a good few hours. Time for me to get some shut eye. Sasuke crept to the door before slipping into the busy halls.

00000 Bathroom

"I don't care! The color of your toolbelt matters to me as much as if you died right this second." Lee took in the boy's words. "It DOESN'T! Now if you're not going to help, get out!"

He pouted and sat on the counter. "Get your ass off, Lee. We're going to be taking the sink out soon." "Oh. Fine..." He hopped down, right on top of another worker's fingers.

"Gahh! My hand! Go away you idiot!" Lee stuck out his tongue and moved around in a circle, placing his hands on his hips like a model. Everywhere he went he was in the way, either stepping on a tool or person. Getting annoyed, the leader of the group finally came up to him.

"Lee, why don't you go get materials for when we decorate later." "You mean like the bathmats and tissue boxes! What about soap...?"

"Whoa whoa whoa. Hold on a sec. It's too early for decorations. I meant the cabinets...

doorknobs...wallpaper...border... Things like that. Oh, and don't forget the faucet, new toilet and sink. Do you want someone to come with you?"

"Nope! I've got it all covered!" He gave the leader a thumbs-up and wink before skipping down the hall.

"Phew. Okay guys! Get as much done as possible! Lee's finally gone!" Cheers flooded the bathroom.

"Hmm. Sounds like they're really counting on me! Hahahaha! I'll make them proud!" Lee continued his dorky skipping right out the front door. He unknowingly barely missed a run in with Sasuke who almost had a heartattack. That was close!

00000 Rec Room

"Gaara? Where do these go?" Gaara looked up from the room plans. "No you boke! Take the old carpeting outside before you try to put down the new wood!" "Oh...ahahahaha! I forgot!"

Gaara sneered and nodded. What basket cases. Doesn't anyone know what they're doing?

"GAARA! I stapled my shirt to the floor!" He slammed his pencil and ruler down on the table and stood to face the group.

"Kami you fools! I DON'T CARE! Now leave me alone and get to work! Put down that damn staple gun...we don't need it yet! Hasn't anyone pulled the carpet out yet! Argh!" He rubbed his temples and sighed. Yelling won't do anything...

"Here's what I'm going to do. I'm leaving the room and by the time I get back, I expect the carpet rolled up and out in the hall ready for dumping. Got it? If it's not done, I'll have every last one of you staying up late with me to finish the wallpaneling!" They nodded and immediately got to work.

Ha. That's more like it. He rolled up the blueprints and silently left.

00000 Dining Room

Naruto had pulled out all the lights and had thrown them to the floor. "Hehehehe! Hey I'm done already, believe it!" The dark haired boy looked up at the sparking wires protruding from the walls.

"The power wasn't shut off! Did you turn any of the lights off either!" Naruto looked around. "Uh...hahaha. No. Were they supposed to be off?" "YES! Everyone! Listen up! Don't touch the wires from the walls because..."

**ZAP**

"ACK!"

The attention of the group turned to the loud crackle from the corner in time to see a boy fall unconscious.

"...You'll get electrocuted. Someone get a medic! As for you Naruto... get!"Without a second bidding, he fled the room.

00000

Time for some sleep. Sasuke's room was in sight. He smiled proudly. Nothing can get in my way...

BAM!

"Sorry, sorry! I didn't... Sasuke! Ahh! Get away from me!" Naruto jumped up and began to run the other direction, but Sasuke grabbed his shoulder. "No! Don't rape me you...!"

"Naruto, I'm not gay!"

"You're...you're not?" Naruto stopped fidgeting. "But I saw you and Lee..." "I know you did! But trust me, I'm not gay!" "Are you sure?" Sasuke glared at Naruto. "Well why didn't you tell me?"

Sasuke let go of him, dropping him on the floor. "That's good. Hey! Where are you going?" Dark eyes looked down at the orange clad annoyance as he stepped over him.

"I need sleep." "Oh...but doesn't your group need..." SLAM "...you? Okay then! I'll talk to you later! Hehehehe. To think he was gay. Ha! That's a good one." After waiting an extra 5 minutes (just to make sure Sasuke wasn't going to return), Naruto turned down the halls.

Where do they want me to go? And how long? Did they want me to get something? Hmmmm. I guess I'll just see how the others are doing. Maybe they'll let me help! Ha! Ya! Hey... Gaara's a nice guy! I'll go see if he needs any help.

00000

Gaara slowly strutted to the kitchen. They better have food left. I haven't eaten all night.

When he got in, total chaos greeted him.

"Where is he!"

"Kakashi wants to go over these papers with him!"

"He vanished!"

"No, he deserted us!"

"Maybe he couldn't take the stress and killed himself!"

Ha. I can relate. Now where's the food?

Gaara quickly side stepped as the boy carrying a huge stack of papers tripped over a wire and caused even more mayhem. Tools turned on "by themselves," guys kept falling over pieces of torn apart cabinets, nails went flying... Gaara grinned widely. This project is fun...When you're not leading it. I wonder if I can pull a prank... Just to mess with them. Sasuke won't notice. I think I will.

Gaara grabbed a box of crackers and took a look around the messy counter top. Hmm. Power surge protector... They won't mind if I just take this for a bit. Hn. Maybe they will.

He quickly pulled the cords of whatever from the strip of circuits before walking off. Sasuke should keep a better eye on these maniacs. Someone could get hurt.

No one ever even noticed he had come and gone.

00000

By the time Gaara returned, the whole group had stopped working. Surprised, he entered speechless.

"Hey Gaara! What took ya?" Naruto was seated in the middle of the team. "Why are you here?" Gaara was insulted by the faithfulness being displayed by the boys.

"Hahaha! Well, you see, my group kinda...banished me."

"Really? Why was that?"

Naruto scratched his head. "Long story..." "Then make it short." "Hahaha...Well if you've gotta know. I didn't turn off the electricity when I was removing lights and someone got a bit of a shock."

Shocked, hm? I could use this to my advantage.

The group took a few steps away from Naruto, just what Gaara wanted. "So you thought you'd come to help us out?" "Ya that's it!" "I see. I can also see that all of you look anxious for him to assist us. So, how about you help with lighting since you're so good at it? That is...unless someone else would rather step in."

He looked around. It was visible that the guys were considering the chance of getting electrocuted themselves because of Naruto's clumsiness.

Not long after Gaara spoke, a brave ninja stepped forward. "It's okay Naruto... If it's alright with you, the others would rather have someone from the group to do lighting." Before Naruto could reply, the boy walked away. Gaara had a pleased look on his face.

"Bye Naruto." "Um...Sure. I'd better be getting back anyway! See ya later!"

"That was close!" "Ya! I'd hate to have a klutz like him on the team." "Shut up you lazy idiots! I see none of you did what I specified earlier. Why didn't anyone pull up the rug!"

"Well Gaara, you see..."

"Quiet! That was a rhetorical question, dumb ass. Hmph. No matter. I guess tonight I won't be the only one in here." Angered groans filled the room. "It's gonna be a long night. Now get back to work!"

00000

Somewhere in a hardware store...

Humming passed through the aisles as Lee pushed his shopping cart along.

Step. Hop on. Ride a little ways. Step again. Hop. Ride some more...

Lee looked up and down the twisted maze of tall scafolding. I don't need wood. Let me see... Ooo! Sign! Paint that way... I wonder if that means wallpaper, too. I guess I'll find out!

He continued pushing and riding on the cart. And he was well on his way towards the home decor section when...

Gasp! He's kinda cute! How's my hair? Lee looked in a mirror he was riding past and quickly combed through his hair. Perfect! Hmmm... If I go up and down these two aisles and the clerk is still there, that means he loves me! Wait, that's too easy. How 'bout I make it three? No! Four! Wait! FIVE!

Deciding five was a good number, Rock Lee quickly flew down the rows. And guess what? Oh my gosh! He's still there! He LOVES me! Excited that the guy his age was still standing close by (not that he had a choice, he was stationed there at the desk that particular day), Lee deemed it safe to flirt.

Slowly creeping around the corner, Lee popped his head out between shelves. And yes, to anyone watching, it was a very scary sight.

Here I go! Straightening his jumpsuit, Lee slowly strutted to the desk.

"Excuse me..." He leaned half way over the table so he could read the nametag. "... Sochi. Where do you keep your faucets?" Sochi gave Lee a scared/ freaked out stare for a long time before answering.

"Uh...That way. They're between the two kitchen and bathroom areas. Turn left...right...half a left then a quarter turn right. Five paces a little left from the right and it'll be behind you." "Oh. Thanks." He nodded and went back to his clipboard.

Feeling eyes on him, Sochi looked up. "Can I help you?" Lee hadn't left, instead, he had taken a seat on the desk. "Hehehe. Well, you see...I was so busy staring at your gorgeous eyes that I didn't quite catch your directions. Could you just... take me there?"

00000

Sasuke yawned and grabbed a can of soda from the miniature fridge next to his bed.

What time is it? He wiped his eyes and looked at the digital clock. Oops. 3:00 already? I overslept. Oh well. I don't hear any screaming. I deserve an extra 30...45 minutes. He pulled the covers over his head and went back to sleep.

00000

Hn. It's 3:10. I wonder if Sasuke's back yet. My group sure has me running the strangest errands! Find a cooking pot, ladle, toilet paper tube and half used candle. Ha! Wonder why they need them? Whatever.

Naruto entered the kitchen. "Hey Choji! Is Sasuke around!" Choji banged his head on a pipe inside the sink cabinet that was spewing water. "How...gargle... should...spit...I... choke... know!"

Another boy answered. "Look Naruto, we haven't seen him all day. No doubt he ran off to leave us with these shitty jobs. But if you do see him, could you tell him that I'm gonna pound his face in as soon as I get a chance?" "Sure! Hey... Where'd you put the silverware?" "In that box... No that one... The one that is half full of water! Yeah, you idiot."

Naruto grabbed a pot and ladle and left the room to find the group's missing captain.

000

"Sasuke! Let me in! C'mon!" As expected, Sasuke had locked the door. But this didn't stop Naruto from breaking and entering.

"Ha! I always have to barge in here. You should just get a new screen while the rest of construction is going on. No one would ever know! Hahahahaha!" Only the sound of light breathing responded.

"Huh? You're sleeping?" Instead of waking him as usual, Naruto decided to look for toilet paper (for his "errand list").

"Hmmm. Where would you keep... sweet, alright! T.P!" He took it out from a cupboard full of extra items such as toothpaste, combs and...

"Hey look! A rubber ducky! I'll take this just in case... I only need the tube. Hm. I'll just be taking this off then." Naruto unwound the entire role, unintentionally toliet papering the room.

"Thanks Sasuke! Oh and by the way, some guy wants to kick your ass when you wake up." Naruto glanced over at Sasuke who was still unconscious. Sheesh. Shouldn't he be awake by now? Whatever!

And he left the room, loudly slamming the cupboard and screen shut on his departure.

00000

Lee was carrying a huge pile of bathroom fixtures on his back as he staggered down the streets. As soon as Sochi realized Lee was going to carry everything back to where he came, he made sure to help him find everything he needed.

And by everything we're saying: a sink; a toilet; five rolls of wallpaper; a large tub of glue; a border; 35 half a foot by half a foot tiles; a preassembled cabinet; and three glass light fixtures.

He finally reached the steps of the dormitory four hours after he had set out.

"Anyone wanna help get these to the bathroom?" He panted and looked around. No one even acknowledged he was back. "Anybody?"

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	7. Procrastination and Avoiding

_A/N:_ Okay, I was rereading this and realized how crazy and messed up it's getting. Sorry to all those who were looking for a sane, safe story. This ain't turnin' out to be one! Hehehe. Naruto's stupidity is causin trouble for the house. Uh-oh. Onto this next chapter!

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_Yawn. How long have I been asleep? I hope it's not past... 11:17! Damnit! _He took a closer look at the clock_. In the morning! Is this some kinda joke? How could I have slept all night? And what happened to my room! _Sasuke looked around at all the toliet paper hanging from various furniture._ Ugh! Jerks! _

He tore down the paper, got changed and quickly ran to the kitchen.

"Hey look! Sasuke's back!" In that instant, a fist came flying at his face and he was thrown backwards by the fierce blow.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Sasuke felt blood gush from his nose. "Ha. I forgot that was gonna happen when you came back! But I did warn you." He turned slowly and came face to face with Naruto.

"MORNING SASUKE!" "Naruto." "Were you asleep all last night? Hm. Wow, you must be a real heavy sleeper." A few people nodded in agreement. "What do yo mean?" Naruto handed Sasuke a cloth from the counter.

"Gaara was up all night with his team. They must be half done with their room by now! But it cost them, they all look like zombies now. Except for Gaara. _HE_ looks like a zombie slave driver. Hahahahahahaha!" Sasuke only took in half of what Naruto said.

"I gotta go... I'll b buck."

"Don't bleed over the tiles! _That's the only thing we got done yesterday_." Choji tossed the old sink into the hall.

00000

_What a wake up call. I hate this project_. To make matters worse, Kakashi caught sight of Sasuke stammering down the hall.

"Hello Sasuke. Where are you off to _this_ morning?" Sasuke turned and glared over the cloth he was clutching.

"I'm mot unning if tat's wut yo mean." Kakashi smiled at Sasuke's muffled voice. "Hn. I see. Alright, get going but _be back_." Sasuke rolled his eyes and ran to the medical office.

00000 Kitchen

"Hey Sasuke...I'm back!" Naruto stuck his head in. "Sasuke's not. Why aren't you ever with _your_ group, Naruto?" He didn't look straight at Choji when he answered.

"Oh, I dunno. I still have to find half a candle. Hey! You guys got pretty far in just the two days!" Choji beamed. "Yeah. I got the sink in a few minutes ago and we're going to be installing the other appliances by the end of today." "Did you say you needed a _candle?_" A boy from the other side of the room called.

"Ya, why?" "You're probably not going to find one anywhere. They're not allowed in the building. Some fire hazard or bullshit like that."

Naruto's jaw dropped. It finally dawned on him that the whole thing was a set up. _I wasn't ever supposed to get any of those items, was I? It was all a scam! A reason to get rid of me!_ He stormed out. _I don't care! I'm not gonna bother helping them if they..._ "Ahh! What the-?" He tripped over the sink Choji had earlier thrown out.

"Hey! This could make a good target for weapons practice!" He dimly picked it up and snuck outside.

00000

_I guess I should get back to work now. _Sasuke left the room with a bandage across his nose.

_But I don't want to be attacked like that again. Losers. I'll just take the long way. _He went around the corner towards the rec room. _Hm. Naruto was right. They already got all the new wall panels up._

The workers were busy nailing down the new floorboards and Sasuke could see a figure standing in the corner, watching hawk-like over the rest. _Must be Gaara. Ahh! He wasn't kidding when he said everyone looks like zombies. How late were they up! _

A few guys looked up at Sasuke with sunken eyes and it looked as though they had been working so long, they didn't even have to pay attention to what they were doing. Their bodies seemed to move like machines.

A little uncomfortable, Sasuke inched away from the sight. "Konnichiwa, Sasuke. What brings you to this side of the floor?" Gaara appeared next to him, holding wires menacingly. For a moment Sasuke wondered if he used them like whips, but he quickly dismissed the crazy thought.

"Avoiding my own group. They've gone a bit A-wall." Gaara grinned. "We're about finished. Just the bar after this." "Really. I heard you were working late." "Just a little." Not wanting to find out how long "just a little" was, Sasuke nodded and hastily said goodbye.

_I hope they got far on the room. _

00000 Kitchen

"I can't find any plug strips around!"

"You mean surge protectors?"

"Those too."

"Aww just forget it! Plug the stove and fridge into that outlet."

"Alright. There we go! I think we're just about done for today!"

"Should we bother cleaning up the tools?"

"Nah. Leave 'em where they are. I'm gonna order a pizza. What do you want on it?"

All the guys ceased working and called out their favorite toppings. No one realized that the more materials plugged-in, the more open they were to an accident.

00000 Dining Room

It was around 1:00 and the other groups were slowly calling a break after hearing the commotion of food from the kitchen group.

"Hey. Hear that? They're takin' a break."

"Can we? We're almost finished with the lights!"

"We're done with the carpeting!"

"Alright, we'll get lunch and then straight to work after! Got it!" The guys dropped their tools where they were and started to call out what they wanted.

"Order sushi!"

"No, get chicken! Oh and rice balls wrapped in seaweed!"

"Yeah don't forget those! By the way, has anyone seen Naruto?"

00000 Bathroom

"Sounds like the group in the dining room is taking a break. How 'bout it guys? Ready for lunch?"

Cheers answered.

"That's what I thought. But first, how far are you all?"

"Almost finished the tiles!"

"Done with the sink and cabinets..."

"The lights are all ready."

00000 Rec Room

"Gaara? Can we take a break? It sounds like the other groups are."

Gaara looked around at the hungry faces. He'd rather not feed them and continue working, but the majority looked like they would keel over at any second. And besides, he didn't want to have to deal with a riot by refusing.

"It depends. How far are we?"

"Walls and floor's done..."

"Bar's ready to refabricate!"

"Arcade games just need to be brought in and plugged!"

Gaara nodded. "Bring five of the machines back inside and plug them in. Set up the tables and chairs and then we'll talk."

They obeyed and in no time, everything Gaara had asked was done.

00000

Outside, Naruto was practicing with his weapons. He had leaned the sink against a pole and was furiously trying to pierce it.

"Damnit! None of my kunai's can break it! Must be a tough metal." Naruto aimed a weapon at the circular drain, but before he could release it, his name was called from a window.

"Naruto! Get your ass in here! We're ordering food!"

"ALRIGHT! YES!" He ran back inside and tossed the kunai carelessly, sending it straight into the air...

But he was too distracted to notice the metal knife had been lodged into the electric transformer box at the top of the wooden pole.

00000

"Most of the groups are finishing their rooms today."

"It's only been three days! How could ninja like them finish rooms that fast?"

"I have to agree. Has anyone checked how safe they are? I mean, it _has _been less than a week..."

The teachers watched over the boys during the break. "Well, if _one_ boy in each group is _anything_ like Lee, it's no wonder they finished so fast!"

"Yeah, I'm sure they'd want to finish as fast as possible to get away from him." Kotetsu and Izumo snickered behind Gai's back.

"WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT LEE YOU MAGGOTS!"

Gai turned around with a clenched fist. The chunin stopped laughing abruptly and stared.

"Lee is one of the best there is! You all just wish you could have a pupil like him!" He turned away again, pleased with his overprotective ways.

"Oh yeah..._Everyone_ should have a freak like him on their team..." The same chunin said sarcastically.

"I HEARD THAT...!" Gai was glowing red. A few students looked over.

"Calm down, Gai. We may have bigger problems."

"Huh? What do you mean?" The group of teachers looked at Kakashi.

"Don't tell me you can't hear that..." They all fell silent.

"Hm. Now that you mention it, I can hear a buzzing noise." "It's getting louder! Where's it coming from?"

Someone ran to the window and peered out. "Uh...Is the electric box supposed to be sparking like that?" Others came over to see for themselves.

"Shit! Something's stuck in the box! How did that happen?" "I'm not sure but we'd better warn everyone of a possible..."

Suddenly the house was swallowed by a thunderous exploding sound.

The rooms were suddenly spiting out smoke and the air wreaked with the scent of electrical burning.

"...Power surge. _Sigh._ Well, we'd better go make sure no one got hurt." The others nodded in response and moved to the excited groups.

00000

A/N: I can't help but to pick on Gaara further... He's too cute! ; ) You'll see...


	8. No Work For More Of It!

_A/N:_ Omg! I am so sorry! My friggin computer has been down for two weeks due to moving. I can't believe it. What a pain in my ass. (And no doubt yours if you actually enjoy reading this…) Whatever. It's up now so enjoy! Onto this long awaited chapter!…

00000 Dining Room

"Not again!" The team ran inside and looked around. The lights had been blown out and the tools were burning hot.

"Maybe the equipment overheated and blew the circuits?"

"No. It was a power surge, causing the outage. We're convinced it just affected this building." Asuma walked in and took a look around. "You used power strips though, right?"

"Yes... Why are you asking?"

He took the cigarette out of his mouth and snatched up a plastic bar. "Then your tools will be fine. Don't touch the lights until we can replace the fuse or whatever."

They nodded and he left to go check the other rooms.

"It's always the lights! Why does it always have to be the lights?"

00000 Bathroom

"_Phew!_ Our room wasn't hit too bad. How's the electricity?"

"Still out. Lee?"

"Yes?"

"Can you go turn the light switch on and off to check?"

"Okay Dokey!" He ran to the switch and lifted it than snapped it down. "Hahaha! This is kinda fun!"

"Hmmm... Still not going on, eh?" The boy winked at the group captain. "How about you check the wiring? It may just be a glitch in how we put it in." Lee looked up. "But isn't that dangerous?"

"No of course not! Trust me."

"Okay then..." Lee moved to the light with a screw driver and began to unscrew it from the wall...

00000 Kitchen

"Crap! Look at this place!" A few lightbulbs had shattered from the surge. "That's not our only problem. Look at _this_." The group gathered to what Sasuke was pointing at.

The plug that the stove and fridge had been attatch to had been scorched. "Didn't you use a power strip?" Kakashi appeared behind the team.

"Kakashi sensei!"

Sasuke remained unmoved. He didn't know. Half the time he was asleep.

"And don't you know better than to plug two power draining appliances in the same outlet? You obviously overloaded the circuit." No answer.

Finally, Choji spoke up. "We didn't have a lot of strips to start with. Besides, the one we were using for the appliances went missing!"

"Missing? How could you lose a power strip in just two days?"

00000 Rec Room

Gaara was first to return to the room, fearing what damage was done to his gaming fortress.

He coughed as smoke billowed out of the doors. When it finally cleared, he stood in shock.

The games plugged in must not have been protected because the backs were burnt and the smell of burning plastic poured out.

He took a few steps inside to get a better look. The team stopped at the doors when they saw him in a strange trance.

Gaara examined every tv and every arcade game. He hardly ever lost his temper, but if he were to, he figured under these circumstances it would be justified. Walking to the double doors, he gently shut them, locking the group out.

Curious, they stuck their ears to the doors. Inside it was apparent Gaara was throwing a huge tantrum.

The sound of shattering glass and the smashing sound of metal ricocheted off the walls. And above all the commotion, curses rolled out one after another in an unstoppable wave of fury.

When it seemed he had finally calmed down, the cracking of wood reassured the group he wasn't.

Alerted by the sounds, that were possibly filling the entire floor, Baki ran over.

"What's going on in there!" He demanded. The group stepped back as what sounded as big as a table, hit the door. They were too worried to answer.

"Gaara, isn't it?" Nods were the only answer. Baki opened the doors and slipped inside. "Enough Gaara!" A strange animal like roar came from within.

"Is it the Shukaku?"

"Beats me. I hope not. They're only games..."

"True. But think of how long Gaara spends in there. They're not just games to him."

All of a sudden, the sillohuette of Baki slammed into the screen. The guys screamed loudly as a monster sized outline came into view.

"Excuse us!"

"Move to one side!"

Other jonin came in to help control what was happening.

"Someone has to visit the _counselor_..."

00000 Kitchen

With the teachers gone, there was no one to stop the "blame game" from erupting.

"I didn't take it! Why would I?"

"Well you didn't do anything the whole time... Why _wouldn't_ you?"

"That's not cool! If you wanna talk about someone that did nothing, talk about _Sasuke! _Some leader. This would never happen if I was in charge!"

"Leader! Now we're into that again? You couldn't lead a dog."

"Quit blaming this on me! Talk to _him!_"

Everyone directed their attention to the corner where Sasuke had been keeping his distance. _Damn. You oversleep once and everyone's turned against you._

He remained silent.

"You're right! All Sasuke's been doing is sitting on his ass or disappearing while we work our butts off!"

_Hm. Maybe I can use this to my advantage_. "Fine. If you don't like how I lead, then raise your hand. I'll step down if that's what the majority wants." Eight hands went up.

_Yes! Arigato! I've been waiting for a rebellion. _

Pretending to looked disappointed, Sasuke shrugged. "Alright. Who wants to be leader?" Without looking at the volunteers, he pointed to Choji.

"Akimichi Choji, you're the next leader. Everyone has to obey him from now on. Got it! Good. Sayounara." He walked out the door, leaving the others speechless.

00000

Sasuke headed to his room without a care. The way he saw it, what happened from now on had nothing to do with him.

"SASUKE! WAIT UP!" _Not him again... Just when I'm finally free from this project, he has to show up. _Of course, it was Naruto chasing Sasuke down the halls.

Not caring whether or not he was rude, Sasuke darted down the opposite hall. "Hey! SASUKE!" Naruto ran after him.

Why can't he find anyone else to bother! Shit! He's definately getting faster each time he's after me.

000

Around the corner, at the other side of the hall Sasuke is traveling down

"Get the fuck off me!" Gaara struggled in the grasp of three jonin. "I'm _FINE!_ It was just an outburst!"

"We_...ugh! Stop moving!..._ are just taking precautions!"

"What would happen if you attacked a student, Gaara!"

He stopped for a moment and grinned. "Depends on who it was."

"Come on! We've got to get him to the medical office!"

"_WHY!_ Damn you people are paranoid!" Gaara started wriggling again.

000

Sasuke heard the commotion from the hall getting louder. But so was Naruto.

"WAIT A SEC!"

"We're warning you Gaara!"

Sasuke bolted down the hall, determined to lose Naruto. Although he tried to dodge the group, he ran straight into them, breaking their hold on Gaara.

"Ha! See you later bitches!" Gaara got up and disappeared before the eyes of the jonin.

"Quick! He's _extremely_ unstable! We have to contain him from the others!"

"Someone get the Uchiha!"

"Anyone have tranquilizer needles!"

00000 Bathroom

"Haha! Got it!" Lee had successfully removed the light and poked between the wires.

"It looks like everything's right..." Suddenly, the screw driver acted as a conductor and Lee fell backwards.

"Hey look! Lee's been electrocuted! Hahahahaha! Power must have come on. Hm. I guess he never turned the switch to off."

Little by little, electricity came back on for each room.

"That takes care of this! Now back to work!"

00000

"Hold it right there, Uchiha!"

"Come back Sasuke!"

_Great. Now I have both jonin _and_ Naruto on my ass. I can't slow down if I want to escape Naruto... but if I don't I'll get some sort of punishment. If they can catch me at least. I have to find somewhere to hide... fast!_

"You assisted the escape of a dangerous student and now I have to take you down as well!"

It was an accident... I just ran into you! I never wanted to help Gaara...maybe this means my debt is repaid. Ha! Yes! Now where to go...

"_SASUKE!_ QUIT RUNNING!" Naruto's loud mouth seemed quieter than last time. _Maybe I'm losing him... One down, one to go!_

He had lost Naruto, but the jonin had caught up with him. Wrestling the fugitive to the ground, he snarled angrily.

"Why were you running!"

Sasuke lifted his head, "You were chasing me, remember?"

"Do you know _why_ I was chasing?"

_What is this? 20 questions!_ "Yes, because I was running..."

"That's it smart mouth! No more sly remarks... You're coming with me!" Like a prisoner, Sasuke was led down the halls, still not understanding why the jonin was making such a big deal out of this.

00000

_A/N:_ Only two more chaps. left!


	9. The Secret Floor

A/N: Let's see what's up with Naruto. We haven't focused on his obnoxious blondeness yet… How much kuso (japanese for shit, in case any of you ever want to insult someone in anime language) is he gonna get in now? Let's find out, shall we? Woohoo! Onto chappie nine!…

00000

Naruto had been so determined to catch Sasuke, he hadn't noticed where he was going. He found himself standing at the base of a narrow stairwell. Curious and having nothing better to do, he decided to check it out.

I wonder how come I never noticed this place before... At the top, a long hallway reached out to him. "Cool! This must be where all the older guys stay! And everyone of them are gone!"

Naruto took in the room he had chosen randomly. It was fairly clean. The bed was neatly made, the dresser wasn't in shambles, weapons neatly lined a desk and the floor was free of dirty clothes.

Being in the very carefree mood, he decided to take a closer look. "Who's room is..."

He picked up a photo of Ten Ten and smirked. "Neji."

Intrigued by the belongings of others, Naruto continued checking out each room, almost like touring a house for sale.

The older ninja must have all left for the break. Who's is this? He came to a door with a "Stay Out" sign on it. Unable to resist and not bothering to take the warning to heart, he opened the screen.

Instantly, needles flew out at him. "ACK!" Before he was punctured, he jumped aside.

As soon as the trap ceased Naruto entered.

Amputated wooden hands and arms littered the floor. Actually, the room wasn't too bad, if you ignored the puppet parts. No doubt this is Kankuro's room. I didn't know he left. I wish he took his freaky brother along...Ooo! A FOOT!

000

As soon as Naruto had looked at each room, he leaned against the wall lost in thought. I could stay here for the remainder of the time. No project. No teachers. But if I get caught, I'm done for. Hn. Tough choice... but I have taken a liking to Neji's room. It's way better than Lee's! Hahahaha!

The setting sun revealed how late it was getting. Finally making up his mind, Naruto ran back to his room and gathered up his belongings.

00000

"Now get in there!" Sasuke was thrown into an almost bare room. With the exception of the wooden floors and screens, it almost seemed like a prison.

"Hm. So they did catch you afterall." Sasuke turned to see Gaara sitting on one of the cots.

Not him. He's the one that got me into this! I'll die if I have to stay with Gaara.

"Speak for yourself." Gaara smiled at Sasuke's comeback and shrugged. "I actually let them catch me..." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Sure you did."

"I did. Kill two birds with one stone. They get to be proud of themselves and I... Well, you can cause more trouble in here than out there. The people that watch us, they're all paranoid. If we even bend a rule, they get all nervous. I'll be out of here in no time."

Sasuke tried not to make conversation. "You're lying. How can you get out?"

"I've been in here at least six times this year. Each I've gotten out early...for good behavior." He laughed at himself and pulled out a lighter. "Watch."

Sasuke turned away, but watched out of the corner of his eye. Gaara held it to the wooden frame. The screen quickly caught fire. The flames licked the wood and traveled swiftly to the top.

Within a few moments, the jonin had come in. Gaara laid down on the bed.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!"

Shrugg.

"Get Uchiha out of here!"

A chunin pulled Sasuke out of the room and tossed him into the hall. "You can go Sasuke."

Shocked (but not surprised) that Gaara had set the room on fire in his escape attempt, Sasuke walked silently to his dorm.

While everyone was busy extinguishing the flames, Gaara slipped out.

00000

"Hahaha! Neji you have one awesome room!" Naruto had thrown his clothes all over the place and had hung posters on the wall (one of a bowl of ramen).

Making himself completely at home, Naruto settled in for the night... rather, for the rest of the week.

000000000000

Lee ran down the hall early the next morning in a dark green bathrobe and fuzzy pink slippers.

He traveled from dorm room to dorm room, searching for his long lost roommate.

"Have you seen Naruto?"

"Go away Lee!"

"Ah! Hear that! It's Lee! Lock the door!"

"Good morning. Have you..."

_Slam! _

"Hmph! Well fine! Be that way!" He pouted and sat in the middle of the hallway. "Naruto, where did you _go!_" Suddenly, the buzzing of numerous alarm clocks filled the floor.

_Hmm. Must be nine o'clock... Uh-oh!_ Instinctively, Lee covered his head with his hands (this had happened on more than just one occasion), as boys stampeded out of the rooms.

He stood and brushed himself off as the last one past. "Haha! That wasn't so bad! Now, where to look next?"

0000

In Neji's room, Naruto attempted to get up. "_Yawn. _What time is it?" He reached over to the dresser and looked for the alarm clock, knocking down the picture of Ten Ten in the process.

When his hand finally found the electronic, he took hold of it and moved it close to his face.

"How can he read this? The numbers are all blurry!" He grumbled and threw it carelessly to the floor. "Oh well. It's not my fault I don't know what the time is... Good enough excuse for sleeping in!"

0000

Lee had been standing in the middle of the hallway for a good time now, contimplating his next move.

_I know! I'll ask Sasuke and Gaara next! Hehehe... That'll give me a chance to see what they wear to bed! _

With his plan thought through, Lee skipped off to put it in action.

Not too far down the hall, however, Lee was stopped by his sensei.

"Gai sensei!"

"Hey there Lee. What are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be working on your room?"

"No... We're all finished!"

"Hn. That makes everyone. Good work Lee! That's my boy!"

Lee smiled proudly.

"Oh, by the way... were you just skipping?" He blushed, "Maybeeee."

Gai crossed his arms. "_Real_ ninjas don't skip."

"Ah. Sorry! How about... bounding with glee?"

"No."

"Not even _frolicking!_" Gai thought for a moment.

"Frolicking is okay. Just don't let anyone catch you!" "Thank you Gai sensei!"

Lee turned and skipped...er... _frolicked_ away.

0000

Sasuke picked his head up from his pillow and glared at the door after being awokened by a knock. It seems that Naruto wasn't the only one sleeping in.

_Again! Why does he keep coming! Doesn't he have anyone else to bother? Why do I have to be the "lucky one"?_

"Oh _Sasukeee!_"

_Wait...that sounded like Lee! Kuso! He'd better not come in. Why did all the deranged have to stay!_

He remained silent, looking at the door menacingly.

After five minutes of heart pounding anxiety, Lee finally left.

_Ha! Now back to sleep..._

0000

"Darn it! There's got to be another way in! Hmmmm... I know!"

After another run down the hall, Lee barged into the teacher's lounge.

"GAI SENSEI!"

"HEY! What are you doing in here? This room is strictly off limits to..."

"It's..._sniff_...alright Asuma. I'm sure..._sob_...Lee... _sniffle_...has a good reason!" Sarutobi Asuma rolled his eyes at the sobbing teacher. Lee stuck his tongue out at the smoker.

"I locked myself out of my room. Can you unlock it for m..."

"Shhhh! Lee! There's something... _sniff..._ you should learn."

"What is it?" He asked intently.

"Don't_... weep..._ come between a man.._.. sob... _and his _soap operas!_" Lee looked at him curiously and turned his attention to the screen.

"**Don't think of it as losing your sons, Kanbutsuya..." **

"Haha! Wait. Her name means _'grocery store'!_" Asuma laughed so hard his cigarette fell.

"No! _His_ name means grocery store... And this was originally American. It was just an error caused during the translation process!"

"**...Think of it as losing... your life!"** After a long, droning explanation of what she meant, the lady on the screen brought a knife from behind her back and stabbed the man in the hospital bed. Fake blood squirted out, and Gai burst into further tears.

"That made no sense whatsoever..."

"_Asuma!_ Do _not_ judge the opera! They just explained the whole storyline! How... can...you... not!"

"**Curse you Ichi!"** And the man died slowly..._very_ slowly. So slowly, that the show jumped into another side story instead of showing him die completely.

"So her name means 'market'? Hahahaha! Kind of gives a mixed message, don't it!"

"Shut up Asuma! I don't expect _you_ to be able to comprehend material _this_ deep."

"Ahh...Gai sensei? Can I have the...?"

"_Quiet! _Kagan is realizing that his long lost brother is also his long lost wife's long lost husband and his long lost step son's father's cousin!"

"**I don't understand what you mean, Kagan..."**

"Neither does Asuma..." Gai chuckled.

"Excuse me? Just because I don't have any interest in what 'fish market' is saying..." Asuma lit another cigarette.

"TRANSLATION ERROR!"

"Uhh... Gai? Can I have that key now?"

"Yes, YES! Just GO!" He threw the key at his favorite student, keeping his eyes glued to the tv screen.

Lee ran out, victorious!

0000

He found himself in front of Sasuke's room, again. But this time, he was prepared to enter.

Sticking the key into the lock, he turned it excitedly.

"Huh? Who's there?" Sasuke rubbed his onyx eyes slowly.

Lee ran over to the bed and jumped on it. "It's me sleepy head!"

"Ack!" Sasuke screeched and pulled the covers all the way to his chin. "How...How'd _you_ get in here! I lock my door because of freaks like you!"

"Ahahahahaha! With _this!_" He flaunted the key, not noticing the insult.

"I see..." He whipped a kunai from somewhere under the mattress. "Now _out!_ I keep this here, _also_, for freaks like you!" Before Lee could get up, Sasuke brought down the knife, tearing threw the terry cloth robe.

"Hey! This was my favorite!"

"Really? Too bad! Now get away!" Before he got up, Lee pulled the covers down to see what Sasuke was wearing.

"Aha! You're a boxer kind of guy!" He admired the black boxers before him.

Sasuke swung the weapon a second time, this time Lee dodged and ran out, screaming like a girl.

"Hm. That was easy...Perv." Sasuke got up lazily and closed his door. Making a mental note to himself to put a _third_ lock on when he got the chance to put a second on.

0000

_Phew! I almost got stuck! Poor Sasuke, someone's cranky! Hehehe. I'll give him time to cool down... Now then. Where to next? Oh yeah! Gaara!_

He knocked on the dorm door, surprised (and jealous) to see Choji answer it.

"What're _you_ doing here!"

"I live here... What do _you_ want?" Choji bit into what looked like licorice.

Lee placed his hands on his hips. "I want to speak to Gaara!"

"Hm. Does he want to speak to _you?_"

"No I _don't._" Came a call from the bedroom.

"Haha! What a jokester! _Of course_ you do!" Lee began to walk in, but was blocked by Choji.

"Excuse me, but I need to go _in_ to talk to him."

"You can't even if he wanted you to. He got into trouble the other..." Lee pushed his way in before Choji could finish.

Gaara looked into his mirror and saw Lee leaning against the frame of the screen. Hurriedly throwing on a t-shirt, Gaara snapped out. "I told you I don't want you here."

"I know... but I need some information."

"Information?" Gaara didn't sound as enthusiastic as Lee had hoped.

"Yeah. I heard you were being a bad boy, Gaara." He took a few steps in. "Hm...Which bed is yours?"

Gaara glared. _Doesn't he know I'm hardly ever in here? What a kusotare._ "You needed information? What's in it for me if I give you it?"

Although he was not sure what Lee wanted to know, he wanted to make sure there was something in it for him. So even if he had to lie, he'd get _something _for Lee's intrusion.

Lee thought for a moment, "My heart..."

"Not the answer I was looking for."

Choji grinned from over the bag of chips he was holding. Lee was clutching his stomach.

"Shoulda listened, but nooo."

"Uhhh...Hush up you." He stumbled out into the hall.

_Now what to do? Oh yes! Naruto! Even though my other two loves seem to be having emotional trouble, he'll be okay! He's such a man! Nothing like that _ever_ gets to him..._

0000

"Wake up adeyaka..." Naruto opened his eyes. "Huh? Who's there? _Yawn._ Show yourself..."

"Aww... You're tired. Here, lay back down. I'll protect you." The person whispered soothingly.

_That sounded close. Real close._ Naruto remained alert and looked around. _Where is he?_

"Down here sweetheart." Naruto slowly brought his eyes down to the bed and saw Lee grinning up at him from beneath the covers.

"_ACK!_" He jolted backwards with alarm and fell off the bed. Jumping back up, he pointed a finger towards Lee.

"What...What are you doing here! How did you find me!"

"Love led me to you silly!" Lee crawled to the edge of the bed.

"Love? You're real creepy, you know that!"

Lee just laughed and moved closer.

"No! Back, back! Get away from me! Shouldn't you like... you know... _girls?_"

"Not necessarily. I much rather prefer you..."

He sat up and reached out, moving his hand down Naruto's chest. Naruto shook him off and ran to the other corner, jumping upon the dresser and breaking even more of Neji's belongings.

"AH! GAY GUY IN MY BEDDD!"

With that as his final statement, Naruto flung himself off the piece of furniture and bolted out the door.

"Wait Naruto! Come back!" Lee, not about to give up that easily, pursued him. In the process, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

0000

A/N: Big one-o ahead…. Dun-dun-Dun-dun-DUNNN….what's the conclusion of these three (for me _one_…maybe two…nope. One.) hearthrobs? Four if you include Lee. : P


	10. Skeleton Key

_A/N:_ Okay (takes deep breath) this is it. The _last_ chapter…. I first want to thank all of you that have kept up with my craziness. I still am awaiting any feedback, sorry for all the errors in spelling you may have come across (a little late to apologize for _that _though!) Lets just get a move on. Onto the final chapter! I hope the ending does this story justice...

0000

Sasuke hobbled down to the newly remodeled dining area. In the distance he heard a strange cry. Something about being a homophobic... maybe it was just in his mind.

Uhhh... Thrusday already. And I hardly got around to sleeping the vacation away like I had planned. That sucks. I bet the others will be returning from their trips tomorrow. Maybe Lee and Naruto will find another unlucky individual to annoy. Then again I'm not that fortunate.

He trudged into the room and paid no attention to the daily turmoil as he grabbed a piece of fruit and left to find a deserted area.

Oh look, it's Naruto. Hn. Seems to me he's more jumpy than usual. Sasuke bit into the apple and grinned. Naruto's strange jittery behavior brought him happiness. For once Naruto's happy-go-lucky character was not present.

He ducked everytime someone said "-ly."

Sasuke watched cheerfully for a while. Alright, that's enough of this. He's pathetic, but possibly my key to freedom of Lee.

0000

This is fantastic! I can get into any room I want! Hahahaha! No room is off limits to me now! Lee went skipping down the halls, unlocking each screen he found closed.

"Hahahaha! I feel so bad! But yet, it feels great!" He ran past Sasuke. Whoa! Backing up! Beep-beep-beep-beep! He jogged backwards to catch Sasuke, who was not in the mood to run or talk to Lee. If you could call it talking.

"Hello my beautiful!" Sasuke was tempted to stop and scowl, but he continued to move. It's easier to lose him if I stay mobile. Don't stop, keep walking. Just ignore him.

"What's wrong? Are you still being a Mr. Poopy Head because of earlier this morning?" Poopy Head? Damnit. Can't I just hit him once? No! That would just encourage him.

"Why? I only got to pull your covers down. Even though that's not the only thing I wanted to pull down! Hehehehe!" Only once? No. Once! NO! Great, now I'm sounding like Sakura. Since when do I have a split personality?

"Why don't we head back to my dorm room and shed all this unnecassary clothi..."

CRACK!

"Owowowy!"

"SASUKE UCHIHA!"

"Oh fuck it!" Sasuke cursed under his breath as he saw Gai turn the corner and walk towards him.

"Don't you dare move, mister! No Kakashi around to let you off easy now! Just you and me... And you're in need of some major discipline!"

What the hell! Does he follow Lee around like a shadow? Making sure he doesn't get bruised? I didn't even hit him hard.

Lee was rolling around on the ground, holding his gushing nose. Making quite a display of himself, though.

Gai was now standing in front of him. "Look at me in the eye, like a man Uchiha!" Sasuke gave him a sarcastic look. How can I look at you like a man when I doubt you're one yourself.

"That was needless force. I want you to take him back to his room and..." "Sensei, I refuse."

"What was that?" Gai growled and crossed his arms, but Sasuke stood his ground. There was no way he was going to go back into that torture room without a fight.

"I can't. I hate Lee. He's gay. And I'm not." He dismissed his bluntness, but Gai was less forgiving. (In the meantime, Lee was still squirming on the ground, oblivious to everything going on)

"Sasuke! How dare you talk about a fellow student that way! Lee is extremely gifted, you just refuse to accept it! Now you will take him to his room and assist him. NOW!"

"What if I refuse?" Sasuke matched the frown of Gai.

"Hmmm." Gai looked down at Lee, who had slowed down the accessive rolling to a fidget, and thought of Sasuke's question. "You have to stay in isolation, just like another ninja is as we speak."

Isolation? This gets better and better. I wonder if there's a catch.

"Like I said, he's gay."

"Get to your room! ISOLATION!"

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"What's he doing in my room?" Using his Byakugan, Neji could see Naruto slumbering in his bed.

Kankuro grinned as he passed by with his luggage, "Sounds like someone was having seperation anxiety, hey Neji? I didn't know you were so sympathetic to minors."

"Shut up, Kankuro." Hn. Sounds just like my brother. Wonder where he is by the way. I wasn't expecting any welcome, but he's usually in a corner or something.

"I was just about to offer my assistance..." He shrugged.

Neji turned his head slightly towards him. "I'm more than capable of handling something like this."

"Right. Can I watch?"

"You think I care?" Neji slid open the door and Kankuro slipped in behind him. He'd better make this fast. It took me a long time to smuggle those weapons in, and I want to install them as soon as possible.

Both moved stealth-like to the bedside (they were experienced at this). Kankuro bent over and closed one eye, glaring with the other.

"I know this kid. He's the one with the big mouth, ain't he?" The Hyuga was too distracted to pay any attention. Neji was taking in all the damage done to his previously well-kept room.

"This is a mess."

"I'd say... Whoa! Who's that!" Kankuro pointed at the shattered framed picture of Ten Ten. Neji looked at Kankuro, annoyed.

"So you do have a girl. You never mentioned her before. I think I'd definately recall a hottie like her." Kankuro tapped the side of his head.

"I don't 'have a girl'. Right now, that's beside the point." Kankuro didn't interrogate farther.

"If you're so bummed by the mess, make this pathetic chicken shit clean it up. Not like he'd do a good job or anything, but it'd be fun. C'mon. A week, no...month of doing servant work! It'd be great!"

Neji looked out his window. "Wake him."

"With pleasure!" Kankuro took out a wooden mechanism and began to unfold it, revealing a complex array of wires and springs.

Kankuro pulled a string from the side of the oddity and connected it to Naruto's index finger with a ring on the end.

With a soft whurring noise, he unwound the total length of the cord and postioned the wooden piece precisely between the sleeper's spread legs. Pins held it in position on the mattress.

Neji watched the whole thing, not bothering to ask what he was up to. Kankuro hummed to himself and when his trap was set, moved back to Naruto's face.

He had no desire to release the trap himself, so he didn't bother to touch the blonde. Instead, Kankuro bent to his ear and quietly called into it.

"C'mon lesser! Get your ass up and out of Neji's bed!" Naruto stirred and stretched his arms, closing his fingers into fists, just as the sand ninja had expected.

THUD!

"OWWW! WHAT THE--?"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"You disgust me."

"HAHA! How can you not find that funny! HAHAHA! I needed another test subject! Worked like a charm!"

"At the least, he's up." Neji turned from the window and over to the intruder. "Naruto Uzuamki I presume?"

With a gasp, Naruto managed to answer. "Depends...on who...wants to...know."

"This is my room. And it's all your damage. Therefore, it's all your responsibility to mend all you've destroyed so carelessly..."

"Hn! And that could take a while... Welcome to hard labor kid!"

0000

"Hey Gaara... I'm back." Choji entered with a plate of food and handed it to Gaara who sat lazily in an armchair.

"Must suck having to stay in here all day." Gaara grunted and set the plate aside, continuing however, to stare at the television set. He knew all too well he could leave at anytime he felt like it using the Body Flicker technique.

"The other guys returned today." Choji took a peach off the plate. "Kankuro was one of 'em."

"Hn." Gaara remained unemotional.

"When can you go?" Choji had gotten fed up with having to bring all of Gaara's meals to him. And he hardly ate anything anyway.

"Monday. Now shut up. I'm watching this."

"Monday!" Choji whined. "That's like...nine more meals!" Gaara's glare silenced his pouting.

"Better than forcing me to live off your junk food stash under the third floorboard from your bed."

Choji's eyes widened as he rushed into the bedroom, no doubt to make sure nothing was taken.

That should occupy him for a while. Gaara took a bag of chips he had "found" earlier and opened them.

0000

Sasuke looked at the door that was once again being pounded on. He saw the silhouette of a rectangular piece of paper being stuck onto it.

What does that say? Don't feed the animal? Hn.

000000000000

As always, it was a mad rush to the dining area that Saturday morning. With the exception of three students: Sasuke, Gaara and Naruto; it was full.

0000

Naruto had been ordered to dust the entire dorm hall of the older students. Even though he had protested against being treated like a slave, the endless list of threats persuaded him.

"Clean. I never clean. Where do they keep the polish anyway?" Naruto muttered to himself.

"Hey! I know!" He recalled all of the cleaning supplies in a cabinet of Sasuke's when he had been searching for the list of pointless items days before.

_He won't care if I just borrow it! _Naruto smiled widely. Pleased at his intelligence and ability to remember something so tedious, he dashed to the first floor.

0000

_Damnit! Locked! Hey... what's this! _Naruto looked at the sign posted on Sasuke's door.

"Attention All Students." He began to read outloud. "The release of this student _Uchiha Sasuke_, is strictly prohibitted until the date that follows: _Monday, April 18_ Any student who disobeys or assists in releasingof _Uchiha_ , will be punished. Certified by: _Maito Gai_ ." 

Naruto let out a whistle. "Hm. Looks like Sasuke's in deep shit! Hahaha!" _Still, it's not helping me. I guess I could go in. I just won't let him out! But how to get in..._

"Hello Naruto! Need a key!" He jumped at the familiar voice.

"L...Lee!" _Great! What's he doing here? _

"So you've come to help free Sasuke, too!"

"Uh...no. I just ne..."

"I know how you feel! My sensei has gone too far! Sasuke should not be punished for his actions! Come Naruto! Let's discharge him from the foul prison he's been sent into!" Lee stuck the key into the lock and threw the door open.

_Cool. I guess that worked... _Naruto walked inside and headed for the cleaning cabinet, while Lee admired his sleeping crush.

"He looks like an _angel!_"

"Uh...sure. Okay! I'm done here, so see ya..."

"Wait! We have not yet achieved what we came here for!"

"Huh? I'm just here for this cleaning stuff, believe it."

"No, no my good roommate! We must help an unfortunate." Naruto looked over at Sasuke who was sleeping soundly. _Doesn't look unfortunate to me._

Before he could get out of the room, Lee was pulling Sasuke's bed and the unconscious ninja, into the hall. "What the..." "Be free mighty Uchiha!" Lee threw his hands into the air triumphantly. No movement. Sasuke was still out cold. "Okay! Well, I have yet another to save from the tortuous depth of their wrong doings!" Lee skipped off down the hall. Naruto shook his head and turned the other direction, but not soon enough. "Hold it _right_ there!" Gai strutted over to where Naruto and Sasuke were. "What do you think you're doing?" 

Naruto held up the cleaning supplies innocently. "Cleaning."

"Hmmm. Cleaning _what_ exactly!" He grabbed the can. "Aha! You tried to let Sasuke out, didn't you! And by the looks of it... you were going to clean your grimy fingerprints off of the wood. Destroying evidence that leads right to you!"

Naruto gave Gai a dirty look. "Hey! I didn't mean to have Sleepy come out! It was _your _insane pupil that dragged the whole bed out here!"

"Stop blaming Lee and accept your punishment! Even better, since you and Uchiha apparently want to spend time together, I'll let you share it!"

"Gai!" He looked around and saw Asuma heading towards him, dragging two other students along.

"I caught these two trying to escape..."

"Fuck you both! For the final time..._ I_ was _not_ trying to escape! Lee barged into _my_ room!" Gaara's eyes were bloodshot. Lee looked bashful for once.

"_Gasp._ Is this true Lee?" Gai looked hurt by the news.

"I'm so sorry! _Yes!_" Lee started to bawl.

Gaara, Naruto and Asuma rolled their eyes at the pathetic scene. The loud crying woke Sasuke.

"What the hell! What are all of you doing in my room?" He took in the different surroundings and realized he was not inside his dorm.

"What am I doing out here!"

"You tell us, _Uchiha!_" Gai barked angrily. "So, now that there are _four_ of you... You can all share a group punishment!"

"WHAT!"

"More discipline!"

"For _what_ exactly!"

"You son of a..."

"Hey! Cut it out! This shouldn't be too hard for tough genin like yourselves..."

000000000000

So there you have it. The wretched ending to this scathing tale. Although, it didn't _all_ end in tears...

During their two week helping of volunteer hell, the four boys had their own special highlights.

Naruto had escaped Neji's punishment, but still avoids the second floor as much as possible, just in case Hyuga ever changes his mind. Naruto still has the same habit of breaking into Sasuke's room, but ever since the extra locks Sasuke installed, the "breaking in" has dropped to "_attempting_ to break in".

Rock Lee finally got to spend time with his three favorite men. Way to go Lee... I suppose that this was a punishment to some more than others. But each morning before they set out, he is searched, just in case he has a camera on him. But to _Lee's_ disappointment, _not_ stripped searched.

During the community service schedule, Gaara found work in an arcade. Although, he _was_ banned and a full day was added to his punishment after he beat an eighteen year old with an interactive snowboard from one of the games. Being a sore winner isn't the way to be... By the way, the guys are still cleaning up the game room from his last temper tantrum.

Sasuke did not even get close to sleeping the entire vacation away. On the brightside, he _has_ forgiven Lee for framing him and (literally) dragging him into the whole predicament. It only took him about eleven "accidental" beatings with a rake, dealing Lee a treacherous 21 bruises or punctures to come to his peaceful mindset.

000000000000

_A/N: _The story is at its conclusion! Now what am I gonna write about? I'll think of something. It may be romantic, it may not be. It'll probably turn out to be weird. : P What did you think? If you came _THIS_ far, I love you forever!

Lotus.Under.Thorns ; )


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